IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples from your experience.

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Some individuals rely on the
Internet
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 to find answers to their
health
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 concerns.
This
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 essay will discuss the negative development
,
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apply
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 because it has a lot of wrong issues
especially
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, especially
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 about the medicine and diagnoses and eventually it will be finished by involving my own perspective.
To begin
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 with, the
Internet
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 is filled with a significant amount of questionable and unverified information.
That is
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 to, say it can easily result in individuals misdiagnosing themselves and choosing treatments that may be ineffective or even harmful to their
health
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.
For example
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, an interview was taken
from
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with
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 an elderly woman, she is a doctor, and her name is Missis Jane. She discussed the problem of teenagers and adults trusting the
Internet
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 too much when it comes to medicine. People were asking the
Internet
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 about all their
health
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 issues and believing possibly completely wrong diagnoses, making things worse.
Additionally
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, some online platforms promote unverified or even harmful treatments, which can endanger public
health
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. A large number of people, without proper medical knowledge, might misunderstand their symptoms, either downplaying or overestimating the severity of their condition, which can result in delays in seeking essential professional care.
For instance
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, Sana Klinikum Lichtenberg is the most popular hospital in Berlin. The chief doctor of the clinic shared a case about a teenage girl who passed away
due to
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 incorrect information about her illness on the
Internet
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. She took the wrong that changed her life. Her name was Elizabeth and she was only 17 years old. In conclusion, it is better not to trust medical information on the
Internet
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. In my opinion,
while
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 the
Internet
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 provides a wealth of medical knowledge that can empower humans to take proactive steps toward their
health
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, the risk of misinformation and misdiagnosis cannot be ignored.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide clearer and more structured arguments to enhance the overall effectiveness of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure and use linking phrases to improve flow between ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively identified the dangers of relying on internet medical information, which aligns well with your stated position.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples from interviews and case studies adds depth to your argument.
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