IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language in primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#expert #children #language #school #outweigh
Individuals with special knowledge
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 of the opinion that youngsters should
Change the verb form
be engaged
show examples
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 in acquiring knowledge of languages that are not spoken in their country during their elementary
school
 rather than college.The benefits of learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 at elementary
school
 outweigh its downside.
Firstly
, One of the advantages of learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 in elementary
school
 is that children have much time and less engagement ,which enables them to focus and achieve whatever task they are faced with.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, youngsters learn new things easily because their brain capacity is large enough to occupy any information
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 came across .
In addition
, individuals between edges 6 years to 11 years have
this
 attitude of imitating
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 their peers
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
, more especially
language
 aspect
for instance
 when I was in primary
school
 I had
this
 friend that spoke
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
language
 and each time she's speaking, I would come close and listen to whatever she's saying and after that I would try to repeat what she said and before you knew it I started speaking
French
Change the article
the French
show examples
language
 fluently.
In contrast
, One of the disadvantages of children learning people's
language
 in high
school
 is that they have more interest in social life
for example
 hanging out with friends, attending
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parties clubs as well as chatting with their pals on social media.They think less about learning anything
language
 at secondary
for example
, a study carried out in my country recently revealed that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of teenagers are more interested in fashion rather than learning foreign dialects. To sum up,
although
, teenagers and adolescents might find learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
 because of
easy
Correct article usage
the easy
show examples
 accessibility of
language
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
 on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 with their mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, I believe that elementary
school
 children are more interested to have a knowledge of
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
language
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: