IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

#people #humans #animals
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living things are
creatures
Use synonyms
 that have the right to live peacefully in their habitats. since God creates the environment that they fit in so it is unfair to treat them without mercy. I strongly disagree with people who mistreat living things in general and ignore their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss some reasons that support my point of view. First of all,
animals
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 have a very huge impact on our lives and on the
surrounded
Replace the word
surrounding
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 environments.
For instance
Linking Words
, cows and sheep provide humankind with daily supplies of food as
diary
Correct your spelling
dairy
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 products. And
this
Linking Words
 supports
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
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 health and growth.
Besides
Linking Words
, taking these products from these kinds of
animals
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 will not harm their
sustainabIlity
Correct your spelling
sustainability
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. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contrast,
this
Linking Words
 will enhance their productivity. As a human, we can use
animals
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 to the extent that will not harm them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is widely known that animal species create a balance in natural conditions.
For example
Linking Words
, wildlife
although
Linking Words
 it threatens humankind sometimes it is essential to keep planet Earth healthy and suitable for the public. Even tiny
creatures
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 like insects or misqetuo build very strong circumstances regarding the natural atmosphere. So, protecting these
creatures
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 will help in saving our shelter.
To conclude
Linking Words
, if we think of the benefits of
animals
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 and the influence that they
cause
Verb problem
have
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 in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 we will think many times before making any wrong decision regarding
animals
Use synonyms
' sustainability. Yes, we as humans have the authority over other
creatures
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 but there is no excuse to treat them badly. We can use them for our benefit but not to the extent of harming the environment.
Submitted by Asbab15 on

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task response
Expand on the idea of using animals for human benefit without harming them, providing more specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Add more variety in linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
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