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Band 4

some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

#people #humans #animals
living things are
creatures
 that have the right to live peacefully in their habitats. since God creates the environment that they fit in so it is unfair to treat them without mercy. I strongly disagree with people who mistreat living things in general and ignore their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some reasons that support my point of view. First of all,
animals
 have a very huge impact on our lives and on the
surrounded
Replace the word
surrounding
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 environments.
For instance
, cows and sheep provide humankind with daily supplies of food as
diary
Correct your spelling
dairy
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 products. And
this
 supports
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
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 health and growth.
Besides
, taking these products from these kinds of
animals
 will not harm their
sustainabIlity
Correct your spelling
sustainability
show examples
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contrast,
this
 will enhance their productivity. As a human, we can use
animals
 to the extent that will not harm them.
Furthermore
, it is widely known that animal species create a balance in natural conditions.
For example
, wildlife
although
 it threatens humankind sometimes it is essential to keep planet Earth healthy and suitable for the public. Even tiny
creatures
 like insects or misqetuo build very strong circumstances regarding the natural atmosphere. So, protecting these
creatures
 will help in saving our shelter.
To conclude
, if we think of the benefits of
animals
 and the influence that they
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
 in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 we will think many times before making any wrong decision regarding
animals
' sustainability. Yes, we as humans have the authority over other
creatures
 but there is no excuse to treat them badly. We can use them for our benefit but not to the extent of harming the environment.
Submitted by Asbab15 on

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task response
Expand on the idea of using animals for human benefit without harming them, providing more specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Add more variety in linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
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