IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is often considered that changes are more beneficial to people than traying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of changes overweight the disadvantages?

#changes #people
Changes
 are the only constant in the world.
People
 argue that it is better to embrace them rather than
running
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
 away from them. I totally agree with
this
 assertion.
To begin
 with,
changes
 make some experiences and traditional solutions not applicable anymore.
People
 have the tendency to solve problems with the knowledge that they acquired.
For example
,with the emergence of new errors in the software ,
people
 might lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
confidence and feel insecure to deal with them.
This
 could lead to low productivity
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work. At the same time, if everything
kept
Add a missing verb
is kept
show examples
as
Add the comma(s)
,as
show examples
 usual,
people
 tend to do repetitive work and lead a tedious life.
Consequently
, it creates obstacles that have a negative impact on
people
's lives. Despite the drawbacks mentioned above,
changes
 have a
Correct your spelling
positive
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact on innovation and creativity.
Changes
 might create issues, which
Correct your spelling
challenge
chanllenge
Correct your spelling
challenge
people
 to use their intelligence to address the problems.
For example
, with the outbreak of COVID-19,
people
 could hardly go to the office or organize big events as before. But with the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 technology,
people
 could work from home and have online virtual
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
instead
.
As a result
, I think it could propel social progress. To sum up, I think that we should embrace the
changes
 rather than run away from them
although
 they could have an adverse impact on our life.
Submitted by jessegush on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: