IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In their advertising, buisness usually emphasize that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think its positive or negative development.

#buisness #products #development
All businesses often advertise their products afresh majorly to better their odds in a competitive market and I strongly believe
this
 has a lot of good benefits for the growth and development of the company.
Firstly
, the company make advertisements to raise their income over a set period of time. The industry usually features popular celebrities consuming their products
and
Correct word choice
apply
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which inversely nudges their fans to seek out their goods. A major example in the category is the Pepsi bottling industry which is known for its incessant habit of featuring big football stars.
This
 method of
advert
Correct your spelling
advertising
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 helps condition their fans to purchase their product at any point the player is on the pitch or their name is being mentioned. It serves to create a form of awareness that constantly
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
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 them toward the product.
Secondly
, another major reason is for them to become a leading brand because no enterprise is ever big enough especially in a very competitive market in which they sell similar products.
Furthermore
, all businesses are set up for global dominance. A major example is the Netflix movie association.
In addition
, Vogue magazine in the US, described the group as the
fasting
Replace the word
fastest
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 and leading movie production team in the world owing to their regular turnover of movies and advertisements. Moreso, with improving technology, they
also
 create a software application that can fit into our mobile phones, so we can easily watch and share new movies.
Finally
, I think that it is a positive achievement for the company to make
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 goods look fresh, help create more awareness to generate more revenue and ultimately become a global brand.

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task response
Expand on the negative aspects of emphasizing product newness in advertising. This will provide a more balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a generally logical structure, but there are areas where the connection between ideas could be strengthened. Use more transitional phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

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