IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising, buisness usually emphasize that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think its positive or negative development.

#buisness #products #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
All businesses often advertise their products afresh majorly to better their odds in a competitive market and I strongly believe
this
Linking Words
 has a lot of good benefits for the growth and development of the company.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the company make advertisements to raise their income over a set period of time. The industry usually features popular celebrities consuming their products
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which inversely nudges their fans to seek out their goods. A major example in the category is the Pepsi bottling industry which is known for its incessant habit of featuring big football stars.
This
Linking Words
 method of
advert
Correct your spelling
advertising
show examples
 helps condition their fans to purchase their product at any point the player is on the pitch or their name is being mentioned. It serves to create a form of awareness that constantly
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
show examples
 them toward the product.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another major reason is for them to become a leading brand because no enterprise is ever big enough especially in a very competitive market in which they sell similar products.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all businesses are set up for global dominance. A major example is the Netflix movie association.
In addition
Linking Words
, Vogue magazine in the US, described the group as the
fasting
Replace the word
fastest
show examples
 and leading movie production team in the world owing to their regular turnover of movies and advertisements. Moreso, with improving technology, they
also
Linking Words
 create a software application that can fit into our mobile phones, so we can easily watch and share new movies.
Finally
Linking Words
, I think that it is a positive achievement for the company to make
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 goods look fresh, help create more awareness to generate more revenue and ultimately become a global brand.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Expand on the negative aspects of emphasizing product newness in advertising. This will provide a more balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a generally logical structure, but there are areas where the connection between ideas could be strengthened. Use more transitional phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: