IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The key to solving the environmental problem is simple: the present generation is willing to accept a less comfortable life for the sake of the future generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#generation #life #sake #future
Environmental problems are
hot
Correct article usage
a hot
show examples
 topic over the decade. It is commonly believed that to tackle
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 natural hazards, today's
people
 should accept to be in lower comfortable zones for the
next
 generations.
However
, it is not yet all easy to solve the eco problems. In my point of view, I agree with
this
 notion which I shall explain in the following context.
First
 of all, due to Globalization and urbanization, the world has completely changed over the
last
 two or three decades.
Hence
, now we are facing environmental problems like pollution, traffic and deforestation.
However
, it is our responsibility to save the earth
otherwise
 our future generations would be in trouble.
Therefore
,
people
 should accept to
use
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
such
 as fuels by using public transportation. One clear example is that, if
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 metro rails or subways
then
 vehicles on the road would be reduced
hence
, pollution and traffic congestion would be declined.
Besides
, it not only saves
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
 but
also
 reduces pollution and traffic.
Furthermore
, plastic rubbish is difficult to dump because it would not degradable
then
this
 wastage is disposing-off in the rivers and oceans.
As a result
, the
next
 generations
Correct your spelling
would
wolud
Correct your spelling
would
 not get drinking water and if the
people
 drink
this
 polluted water
then
 they would have water diseases.
Thus
, we have to control the
use
 of plastic.
For instance
, if today's
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bio-degradable
Correct your spelling
products
productls
Correct your spelling
products
such
 as paper cups, paper plates, and recycled bags
then
 rubbish might reduce
then
 our
next
people
 would be safe. In conclusion, it can be said that if human beings sacrify their vulnerable activities to conserve climate,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 it would be a great contribution to the future
society
Change preposition
of society
show examples
.
Submitted by venkysai670 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable living
  • excessive consumption
  • environmental degradation
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable farming
  • waste management
  • policy changes
  • global cooperation
  • balanced approach
  • sacrifice
  • awareness
  • sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: