Some people think that television has made people’s life more interesting and beautiful. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that these days, many
people
Use synonyms
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
concedring
Correct your spelling
concerning
conceding
TV
Use synonyms
,
as a result
Linking Words
, it provides us with
comfortable
Add an article
the comfortable
show examples
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
. Without
TV
Use synonyms
we can not enjoy it. The question is, several
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
suppose that
TV
Use synonyms
has made
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
more significant and standing? in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I am going to discuss my opinion. In terms of the positive side,
TV
Use synonyms
is more useful for a long time
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
that we could watch
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
and even though, we can play games on
TV
Use synonyms
. Another thing that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the
Tv
Use synonyms
are more useful is
bring
Change the verb form
to bring
bringing
show examples
the family. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
claim is that the community prefer to watch every day on television in
this
Linking Words
matter when the
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
came in 2020 in the lookdown no one
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not watch
TV
Use synonyms
because the societies did not
not
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
expect that what
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
happened so
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
decided to watch
TV
Use synonyms
on lockdown.
In other words
Linking Words
, the
Tv
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more significant in our
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
who did not care about
TV
Use synonyms
even though they prefer to waste time on
Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
rather than
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
as well as I know
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
watch
TV
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
days,
as a result
Linking Words
, is more major in our
life
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some the communities did not prefer to watch
TV
Use synonyms
because did not interesting for these
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
Correct your spelling
television
televisions
televisison
Correct your spelling
television
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more significant for our
life
Use synonyms
,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
it makes
life
Use synonyms
easier to enjoy it and without
TV
Use synonyms
will be missing one of the biggest automation in our
life
Use synonyms
I hope to keep
TV
Use synonyms
will be existing in the future.
Submitted by nfalfaroki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: