IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Universities should enrol equal numbers of male and female studentsin all subjects.Do you agree or disagree?

#universities #enrol #numbers #studentsin #subjects
Some people argue that the quantity of the
students
 should be the same
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 and women in all subjects of tertiary education.I agree that both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 should have the same right to get enrolled, but it is not necessary to take
that
Correct pronoun usage
it that
show examples
 far. On the one hand, it is a response to equalised society and has a positive impact on the
innovatioin
Correct your spelling
innovation
. There are more male
students
Correct your spelling
studying
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 in some subjects
such
 as physics, with
this
 intervention, the class could be more balanced. More insights and ideas could be shared by women which may lead to a new solution. At the same time, it offers more social opportunity for male
students
 to interact with female classmates, which help them to ease
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 anxiety and shyness
socialising
Change preposition
in socialising
show examples
 with the opposite sex.
Consequently
, it could help them to be more ready for the environment once they join the workforce.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 drawbacks
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 implementing
this
 rule.
Firstly
, it might create discrimination problems.
For instance
, some universities may turn down
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 application only because there is no more place for a male student even though he has the talent for
this
 subject.
Secondly
, the enrollment could not even be completed due to the acute shortage of applicants
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
either
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
either
show examples
 gender.
Finally
, boys and girls are born with different advantages and disadvantages and they
also
 show
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in different things.
For example
, statistically, boys are more interested in logical lessons
such
 as information technology while girls are more
capatived
Correct your spelling
captivated
captive
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 arts. In conclusion, acceptance of male and female
students
 in all subjects is necessary but it does not need to be in equal
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
.
Submitted by jessegush on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: