IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Feedback and evaluation are necessary aspects of school and work, but many people dislike being evaluated. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

#feedback #evaluation #aspects #school #work #people #dislike
There is no doubt,
feedback
Correct word choice
that feedback
show examples
 and
evaluation
 grow our productivity at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 and
school
Change preposition
at school
show examples
. But so many
people
 do not want
this
 kind of
evaluation
. There
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be so many reasons. Homework
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
 or any kinds of skill
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 so many efforts
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 gain expertise. Without an
evaluation
 by
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
expert
Add a comma
,expert
show examples
 anyone could not
being
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 an efficient skilled person. Not only at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 and
school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
feedback
 and
evaluation
crucial
Add a missing verb
are crucial
show examples
 for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
things
Add an article
the things
show examples
 in our daily life happening.
That is
 why it is necessary to work and
school
. I think most
people
 do not want to reveal their talent and some
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 do not have
Correct your spelling
enough
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
 confidence
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 judge their
evaluation
. For these reasons many
people
 dislike it. Some
people
 think
Correct your spelling
evaluation
evolution
evalution
Correct your spelling
evaluation
 and
feedback
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 waste of time. But
personally
Add a comma
,personally
show examples
 I think,
feedback
 and
evaluation
 is the most important part of our learning process. As I mentioned before,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 type of judgemental process would increase our talent. If we show the clear differences between evaluated and
non evaluated
Add a hyphen
non-evaluated
show examples
 person's
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 to these
people
 who believe
evaluation
Fix the agreement mistake
evaluations
show examples
 are unnecessary, I think
this
 problem could be solved. So, in a nutshell, if we want to improve
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
any skills
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our daily life,
feedback
 and
evaluation
necessary
Add a missing verb
are necessary
show examples
.
Submitted by liton.cd79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: