IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#world #poverty
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Globally, it is seen that wealthy people are getting wealthier and economically weaker
section
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sections
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 of the people are becoming poorer.
This
Linking Words
 gap is more prominent in developing countries as compared to developed nations. Which is
root
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the root
a root
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 cause of many problems.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the impoverished get inclined towards committing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their daily needs. Sometimes, even the young generation get involved in heinous crime like robbery, open fire, or stabbing.
Penniless
Correct article usage
The penniless
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 public involves in substance abuse or sometimes they see suicide as a solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their problems. government officials or administrators accept bribery to quench their greed. Which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in corruption in society.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
India
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,India
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 some high-profile court cases were on trial in Supreme Court, where the teens were committed rape and murder.
This
Linking Words
 is because of unrest and
downgrade
Wrong verb form
downgraded
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 moral values and ethics in
population
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the population
show examples
. Despite harsh punishment, every now and
then
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
kind
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kinds
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 of cases are continuously being reported in my country. The possible solution
of
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to
show examples
 these problems is
first
Linking Words
 free education
to
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for
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 every child up to senior secondary level and
afterwards
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,afterwards
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 there should be a provision to take any sort of vocational course.
Linking Words
Secondly
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,Secondly
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 increase in
employment
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the employment
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 rate.
Public
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The public
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 should get
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employment so
as
Correct word choice
that
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 they can live a happier life and don't get into
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 ways to earn their bread.
Linking Words
Third
Add a comma
,Third
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 the social reformer or government organization should work on the upliftment of the weaker section of people by providing them help in terms of granting loans for their business or by proper training, knowledge or resources related to their business.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, free health care services should be provided to the poor. To conclude
with
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apply
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, well off and underprivileged both should work in order to fill the gap between, as in
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 and harmonized world only
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race can live happily and peacefully.
Submitted by garg.alok on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income inequality
  • Wealth gap
  • Socioeconomic disparities
  • Marginalized communities
  • Impoverished individuals
  • Privileged elite
  • Disparity in living standards
  • Social stratification
  • Exacerbate
  • Living below the poverty line
  • Income distribution
  • Lack of access to basic necessities
  • Food insecurity
  • Limited healthcare services
  • Education barriers
  • Socioeconomic mobility
  • Resentment
  • Economic disparities
  • Resource allocation
  • Underprivileged
  • Vulnerable populations
  • Cyclical nature of poverty
  • Government intervention
  • Multilateral cooperation
  • Empowerment
  • Progressive taxation
  • Equal opportunities
  • Social safety nets
  • Unemployment rate
  • Corruption
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