IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education.To what extent do you agree?

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A prevalent trend today is that governments allocate more funding to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
 courses and activities. While some
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 should be used to
further
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
education
Use synonyms
, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art is part of
education
Use synonyms
 and have an important role in
people
Use synonyms
's development. On the one hand, investing more
money
Use synonyms
 in
education
Use synonyms
 will have several advantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 could provide a better learning environment. Schools or universities can import many advanced facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as computers, robotics and artificial intelligence devices, offering students cutting-edge studying conditions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the increasing budgets can stimulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic progress. Some colleges are affected by the limited financial situation, which cannot allow them to offer good salaries for tutors or professors.
However
Linking Words
, if the government could give more
money
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
, it will make employing excellent tutors possible.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, funding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art is
also
Linking Words
 a vital thing and will complement the drawbacks of traditional
education
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, art courses are beneficial to students' comprehensive development.
For example
Linking Words
, students who learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
architectural design need to know the aesthetics, the
architecture
Replace the word
architectural
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 history and the culture behind buildings, which will give them another perspective to understand our living environment rather than only considering the environment from a materialistic view.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is necessary to cultivate art-relating abilities. Arts,
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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drawing and sculpture, will encourage
people
Use synonyms
's creativity, which is important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human development. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 I can understand why some
people
Use synonyms
 believe the government should increase the budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
education
Use synonyms
, I believe investing in arts is equally important.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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