Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A number of people believe that
zoos
are supposed to be banned because they are hard on animals
. However
, some groups of persons
opine that keeping Replace the word
people
animals
in cages is beneficial as wild beasts are protected by that means. This
dissertation will examine both of these views and argue in favour of the letter.
On the one hand, some individuals think that menageries are brutal when it comes to keeping wild animals
. This
is based on the fact that,
these Remove the comma
apply
animals
have been forcefully taken away from their natural habitat and locked in an unnatural environment as a result
they totally miss every bit of nature that they used to enjoy. For instance
, lions are known to love exploring the forest, when they are caged they tend to be aggressive because they have lost their freedom. For
this
reason, people suggest zoological gardens are barbaric and should be closed down.
On the other hand
, another school of thought say that wildlife parks are advantageous. The reason behind this
argument is that beast may sometimes lose their way and as such
become exposed to the danger of being killed. For example
, animal keepers in my city have most of the time caught stray animals
and saved them in zoos
. A lot of beings would have died if not for the protection they get in the zoo.
In my opinion, zoos
are of paramount importance, this
is due to
the fact that in the zoological gardens
Add a comma
gardens,
animals
are preserved and variant species are prevented from going extinct. To illustrate, research on animal population and extinction shows that some animals
were recovered after disappearing from the forest because they were found in the park.
In conclusion, there is a contentious argument over whether zoos
should be closed down or not. Admittedly, in zoos
beasts are restricted and they do not have their freedom anymore. However
, I concur with the idea that wildlife parks are pivotal as animals
are saved from being harmed.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents relevant points but needs to provide a more balanced discussion of both views. Ensure that you clearly address all parts of the essay question and fully develop your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay shows a good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more coherent linking between sentences and paragraphs.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?