IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree.

In
this
Linking Words
 day in the contemporary era,the
world
Use synonyms
 is experiencing
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
a challenging moment that
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is affecting the sustainability and running of the day-to-day activities.Most
people
Use synonyms
 consider overpopulation as the main cause of
world
Use synonyms
 problems.From my point of view,I completely agree that there are too many
people
Use synonyms
 on the planet to sustain and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
also
Linking Words
 that
overconsumption
Use synonyms
 pray a huge role in
the worlds problems
Change to a genitive case
the world's problems
the problems of the world
show examples
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,too many
people
Use synonyms
 on the planet are
such
Linking Words
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 burden because it is difficult to sustain,some of the needs they require
go
Add the particle
to go
show examples
 by the number in the community.
Correct your spelling
In addition
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
,when there is a huge number of
people
Use synonyms
 ,it means most of the activities offered in the community are not quality since there is much to offer.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
 research by the University of Nairobi depicts that 90% of cities are crowded.There is a total decline of spaces for accommodating
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,the huge burden the
world
Use synonyms
 is experiencing is stuffed so with good support and planning the matter can quickly be solved.
Secondly
Linking Words
,another fundamental issue which is in the top gear is
overconsumption
Use synonyms
.Resource use has outpaced the sustainable capacity of the ecosystem,and the policy that stands to protect against overuse is
Correct your spelling
no longer
nolonger
Correct your spelling
no longer
 working.
However
Linking Words
, with
this
Linking Words
 indication,the need of the community will not be achievable due to the imbalance.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by Kenyatta University depicts that
overconsumption
Use synonyms
 matter is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
70%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 causing global troubles.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 lawmakers are becoming greedy
such
Linking Words
 that they have no priority of matter to be attended to
first
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,overutilization of resources has caused an imbalance in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 whole global
world
Use synonyms
. To sum up,there is a huge number to sustain in the whole
world
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 that service delivery is affected in terms of quality.
However
Linking Words
,it is imperative to note that apart from the aforementioned drawback,
overconsumption
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 affects the
world
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: