IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, television has contributed most to changing the quality of life of ordinary people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #television #quality #life #people
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Nowadays, many
people
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 believe that the invention of television promotes the
quality
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 of
life
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 for ordinary
people
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 more than any other
inventions
Fix the agreement mistake
invention
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. In my opinion, I completely agree that
TV
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 has the most positive impact on
life
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 for
average
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the average
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 person from different areas.
Firstly
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, the
TV
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 is the primary source of entertainment, families always watching
TV
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 together. It is the most common and usual way to spend time when families are gathering together
in
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at
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 weekends or festivals. Watching
TV
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 together not only develop
a
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apply
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bonding among the family members
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apply
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,
Add the word(s)
but,
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also
Linking Words
 is a way to find
people
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 who have the same interest, which means it helps
people
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 to expand their social group. Another point to consider
TV
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 has contributed more than any other
on
Change preposition
to
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 the
quality
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 of
life
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 of ordinary
people
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 is that narrowing the difference of
people
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 around the
people
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, which might accelerate the process of globalization.
In other words
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, there is no platform to let ordinary
people
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 from different countries and different cultures
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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know the
people
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 on the other side of the
world
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 before
TV
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 was invented. With the development
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
TV
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, the
quality
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 of
TV
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 programs has become better and better.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Olympics, one of the biggest sports competitions around the
world
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,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has benefited from the development of
TV
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. Different athletes from different countries around the
world
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 could show their cultures and personalities to the
world
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, which let everyone from different could feel
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
through
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though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
TV
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. No matter who you are, you can enjoy the same visual entertainment as the top level of
people
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, which promotes the
quality
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 of
life
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 of ordinary
people
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. In conclusion, I would say that the invention of television has contributed more than any other
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
quality
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 of
life
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 of ordinary
people
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.
Submitted by so163uh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • access
  • information
  • platform
  • entertainment
  • escapism
  • awareness
  • exposure
  • cultures
  • improved
  • education
  • learning opportunities
  • development
  • news
  • journalism
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