In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In modern society, we can predict that all vehicles will be driverless and in a connection with ,
this
the only individuals using these vehicles will be passengers. Personally, I strongly believe that
this
approach brings more drawbacks than positives.
Firstly
, a vast number of people may lose jobs and
secondly
, technology can fail which may cause severe ramifications. The main reason for
this
statement is that a huge number of individuals would lose a job, including not only drivers themselves, but driving schools for drivers of buses and trucks would be undoubtedly closed as well. In association with
this
, unemployment rates would increase and
furthermore
a vast number of vacancies would be lost forever. To elaborate
this
further
, some of the endangered drivers and teachers are in their middle age and they would have difficulties with redeployment to another occupation without adequate
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience

It seems that experiences may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
or retraining. It cannot be denied that contemporary humanity is surrounded by new technologies, which already
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
become an inseparable part of a daily routine.
On the other hand
, it is irrefutable proof that it fails almost daily. Linked to
this
, when one imagines that the driverless bus, full of passengers including children, which technology would fail and there will be no one who could help to stop the bus.
Consequently
,
this
may lead to catastrophic consequences,
for instance
, loss of human lives. In conclusion, from the aforementioned examples, driverless vehicles might have severe disadvantages, including rising unemployment, decreasing numbers of vacancies and
live
Replace the word
life

The word live doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
threatening situations on account of a technology failure.
Submitted by sevcik.karol on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Checks your essay in seconds
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Improve your band scores without paying for expensive tutoring
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.