The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The importance of
education
for all members of
the
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apply
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society
is undeniable. The more
people
have
literacy
in a
society
, the better condition the
society
has in various areas
such
as economics and politics. I strongly believe that efficient rules must be determined which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
every individual in
society
to take the steps in
education
and earn a basic knowledge in every
part
of science and literature. In the following paragraphs, it will be discussed
that
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apply
show examples
why
adults
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adult
show examples
education
is very important and what would happen if authorities do not determine a proper solution to provide them with
education
.
Firstly
, the population of
people
with
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between
show examples
the
age
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aged
show examples
between
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of
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20 to 40 has a vital place in every
society
. In fact, they constitute
the
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an
show examples
active
part
of
the
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apply
show examples
society
which
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and
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
expected to play an important role in
industry
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the industry
show examples
.
In other words
, there might be a huge number of
adults
in a
country
that are not able to find a proper job due to
the
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a
show examples
lack of
literacy
. Based on
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
, in Japan, which is a high-tech
country
with developed
Correct your spelling
factories
factors
factoris
Correct your spelling
factors
and improved industries, nearly 98
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
of the
Correct your spelling
population
poulation
Correct your spelling
population
have the ability to read and write.
On the contrary
, the mentioned rate is about 60
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
in a developing
country
with a low level of economical situation
such
as Iran.
Thus
, the importance of
adults
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adult
show examples
education
is unneglectable in every
country
and
further
actions must be taken for their
education
,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
the
country
would confront
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
major problems.
Secondly
,
Correct article usage
the adults
show examples
adults
Change the noun form
adult
show examples
population is likely to become parents in near future. As a matter of fact, they will not be good parents unless they learn vital information about parenthood.
In addition
, the more knowledge and
literacy
they have, the better children they can bring up. Based on the recent reports published by
criminal
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the criminal
show examples
section of
Tehran
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the Tehran
show examples
police organization, in 60
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
of cases, individuals who
Correct your spelling
commit
commite
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commit
a crime are brought up in a family in which the parents do not have the ability to read and write.
Therefore
, being educated not only affects individuals’ lives but
also
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
them to provide their children with efficient guidance. On the
Correct your spelling
opposite
show examples
opposit
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opposite
show examples
side, if the governments put all the effort and priority
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
youth
education
the future
society
might become unbalanced as a
part
of the
society
is well-educated while the middle-aged
part
does not have sufficient
literacy
to affect the environment.
As a result
, there will be
a
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apply
show examples
high pressure on the educated population due to the high taxes which is
a
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apply
show examples
financial aid for uneducated
people
who are not able to work.
Consequently
, the rate of
unsatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
among educated
people
will grow and
this
might lead them to immigrate to other countries with
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. In conclusion, the role of
education
can not be denied in any
society
. All members of
the
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apply
show examples
society
must be provided with proper
education
. Regardless of
the
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apply
show examples
age,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
education
for all individuals in a
society
would lead a
country
to a better condition and redemption.
Submitted by mehrad.aghaei on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
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