Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #purposes #networks #development

Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common that more people

likely

Add a missing verb

are likely

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to put their personal data on social media or even support for their banking purposes.

This

trend caused some controversial opinions, about whether it is good to put your private details public. In my opinion, I believe it may give both positive and negative effects for some reasons.

First

of all, it is an indisputable fact that posting and sharing your information online can bring tremendous benefits.

To begin

with, it helps people easily get access to your profile for the

business

For example

, salespeople or banking counsellors who work to take care of and support their clients. So if you set your social networking accounts with a

business

view that will help your customers easily contact you by email or phone number you leave.

Beside

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Besides

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that,

your

Change the word

the

show examples

information you update online makes our

business

partners more believers.

Moreover

, its convenience is clearly seen when shopping online, all your own information will be integrated into your account and make

Remove the article

apply

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fast online payment.

On the other hand

this

constantly causes some drawbacks

such

as your intimate detail being hacked or being faked. After that, they used your media accounts

for

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show examples

robbing

Replace the word

rob

show examples

and frauding your friends or your client.

Besides

, it caused many affect on your prestige in

business

, and

also

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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your relations. In conclusion, sharing private news has its pros and cons. In my opinion, I still think that there are more advantages if we know and realize how to control what we share wisely.

Submitted by vihoaithichngu on Fri Jun 24 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ease of access
interconnected
communication
commerce
identity theft
privacy invasions
digitization
fraudulent activities
financial losses
reliance
digital profiles
social inequalities
cybersecurity measures
mitigate
digital convenience
mental health
anxiety
stress
online validation

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