IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes , while other people believe that Adults should prevent children from making mistakes discuss both side and give your opinion。

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults #side #opinion。
Nowadays, there has been a widespread argument that pupils are allowed to fail.
However
, some others believe that it is a parent's responsibility to make
children
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
 their mistakes. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both sides and give my opinions. On the one hand, mistakes are free learning for
children
 which contains a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
.
Firstly
,
children
 can be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
 as they experience their own failures and take a lesson from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. As a consequence, they grow wisely and pay more attention to their actions so they will not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
repeat the same miscalculation.
Secondly
, if
children
 are used to
fail
Change the verb form
failing
show examples
, they will become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humble
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For instance
, once students get the highest score in an examination, they will not show off to the lowest rank students.
On the other hand
, making
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
frequent
error
Fix the agreement mistake
errors
show examples
 reduces efficiency,
parents
Correct word choice
and parents
show examples
 should be aware that it will not become a
children
's habit. Repeating the same fault is a waste of time,
instead
 of doing the same fault, parents may tell their pupils to avoid the common errors that people usually do. To illustrate, if people were sick after consuming certain ingredients of food,
children
 should not consume it in the future. By mentioning the common errors,
children
 may take strategic steps or opportunities ahead.
For example
, when guardians
told
Add a missing verb
are told
show examples
 that being lazy will fail them in their future careers, they will study hard to get an excellent score. To conclude, avoiding failure is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for pupils to save their time,
however
, I believe that making mistakes can activate their senses to be a down-to-earth
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
 up with values.
Submitted by vmuflihahf on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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