You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year-old. Write a letter to the parent in your letter Explain why you would like the job Give details of why you would be suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #parent #job #person #time #australia

Dear Sr/Madam, I am writing to you in regard to the advertising in the Australian magazine. I have read that you are looking for a babysitter for your six-year-old kid. I would be more than happy to go next week to your place to meet you and your family and have a chat. I am arriving in Australia tomorrow and I was looking for an au pair job. I love kids,

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grew up helping and kind of raising my two little brothers.

Due to

my parent's hectic job life, they were barely ever at home.

That is

why

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believe

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am a suitable person for the position as I know how to interact and play with kids. I would be able to help your child with homework and do recreational activities. Some of the reasons why I am travelling to Australia are to enjoy the stunning beaches and

also

to do a marketing course that looks very interesting. I will have to attend classes every Wednesday night, that would be the only day that I won't be available to look after your child. Let me know what you think about having a meeting next week. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Maria

Submitted by jimeilaria on Sat Aug 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.

task achievement

A brief mention of your prior babysitting experience would add more depth to your application.

greeting and closing

Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal and polite.

logical structure

Your letter is well-structured, with each paragraph addressing a specific point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

207 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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