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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spend on teacher. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, whether schools should allocate their funding to educational technology or to teachers has been widely debated. Whilst some contend that advances in technology make it worthwhile to invest in them, others argue that schools should spend large sums on teaching staff.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why the former viewpoint is more convincing. On the one hand, I agree with those who advocate providing financial support for technological equipment. Technological tools offer a wide variety of learning methods that support personalised learning,
such
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 as adjustable pace, timing, and content, which can be tailored to each student.
For example
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, a 2021 study in Denmark showed that learners gained not only broader knowledge but
also
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 deeper comprehension of a specific subject when they used high-tech learning tools.
Moreover
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, investing in technological devices provides unique opportunities for wider access to disadvantaged groups, including rural dwellers, disabled individuals, and low-income students, who cannot afford to attend physical classes.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that school funds should be spent on teachers because they have a more tangible influence on students. They point out that educators can motivate and guide learners
while
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 developing their social skills in ways that machines cannot replicate.
For instance
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, educators can facilitate group projects, discussions, and conflict-resolution activities to help students interact with each other, enhancing their communication skills.
Therefore
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, teaching staff can equip learners with basic skills that are commonly required in the real world.
To conclude
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,
although
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 investing in teachers has certain benefits, I believe spending school funds on technological tools is more effective in today's context. Authorities can ensure that remote learning and personalised teaching are made possible by educational technology.

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task response
Task response: You answer the task well. You show both sides and give your view. Try to add a bit more detail on how each view can change the way students learn, with one strong example.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use good link words like 'On the one hand' and 'To conclude'. Keep sentence parts short and clear. Try to start each paragraph with a clear idea sentence and use small links to move ideas.
structure
Clear plan: intro, two body parts, and a end.
content
Use of examples helps show points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • money, invest, spend, school, teacher, student, learning, class, lesson, plan, time, cost, price, benefit, risk, problem, solution, more, less, equal, fair, access, help, use, device, computer, screen, internet, tool, training, support, teamwork, study, future, job, good, bad, because, if, but, also, then, now
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