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Band 1.5

Many working people get littler or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many people working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #littler #exercise #time #health
Furthermore
,
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that
email
 has more disadvantages as it keeps
people
 distant indicates that it lets
people
 misunderstand other
people
. Take the case of communicating with clients via
email
, which would make a lot
easy
Change preposition
of easy
show examples
 mistakes in that process.
Instead
 of making phone calls or
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
 talk, emails
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to let other
people
 feel your tones or see your impressions, which could totally misunderstand the viewpoints without the right context. There is a natural literal gap between emails, which is unchangeable at the moment.
As a result
,
email
 is not good for everyone. Had it not been for
email
, we would never make
such
 easy mistakes that may never happen if we use
phone
Add an article
a phone
show examples
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
.
Submitted by so163uh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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