Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss these two views and give your opinion.

In
this
contemporary world, people are becoming
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
busier in their lifestyle while they are unable to find much time to concern their life.
Moreover
, some local communities have emphasized that the
sports
facilities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the most essential factor to improve public
health
. Even though some of them have declared opposing view that
sports
resources have only fewer benefits for them as well as there are some other measurements which are
help
Change the form of the verb
helping
show examples
to develop our physical fitness.
This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
essay I will focus on these two views and
finally
, I will give in my opinion.
To begin
with, wherever
sports
clubs have
becoming
Change the verb form
become
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
main place to do physical activities among the communities. Particularly, the majority of local people cannot afford to buy big
sports
equipment as well as they always try to ignore to do physical tasks which essential for their healthy lifestyle.
For example
, the Srilankan government had constructed
sports
clubs and gyms for citizens for their betterment.
As a result
, even their hectic work schedules , are trying to spend much time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
these physical tasks with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great satisfaction and availability.
On the other hand
, human beings plicate the importance of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
mentality. Whenever not only
physical
Add a missing verb
is physical
show examples
strength is crucial but
also
strong mental fitness so need in our lifetime.
For instance
, students who had frustrating feelings and stress in their minds because of that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were unable to focus on their daily activities as well as always tried to quit other daily routines.
Consequently
, human beings ought to do yoga and meditation tasks to build great mental
health
to progress
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life. In conclusion, wherever according to the information
sports
resources and mental
health
are the key elements to
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
our healthy routines. Certainly, I believe
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
in every
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
should want to concern about the matter and need to find solutions to progress
sports
facilities as well as
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
mentality. If they attempt to do beneficial efforts to enhance public
health
, will be definitely able to make
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
and productive generation for
our
Change the word
a
show examples
better tomorrow.
Submitted by skrodrigo030 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: