These days in some countries an increasing number of young adults are choosing their whole weekends inside homes. Why do you think it is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent times, there is a growing number of young individuals who prefer to spend their weekends in the comfort of their homes
instead
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of going out.
This
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essay will explain thoroughly the causes of
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issue, and why it should be considered a negative situation. First and foremost, technology is getting more addictive every day. Social media companies are studying the human brain
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and the patterns of each individual's usage
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so that they can make them spend more time on these apps. From my perspective,
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is the main reason why young people are refusing to go outside. They choose digital interactions over real ones, and they do not know how to break
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addiction.
For example
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, teenagers in the past used to spend more time outdoors because they did not have those addictive digital devices. As far as I am concerned,
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is a completely negative phenomenon. Young adults nowadays are not engaging with people in real life.
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, they are not developing any social skills, which are crucial to build their careers.
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, they are weakening their relationships. Bonds with other people only become strong if you meet them regularly.
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, someone who chooses to spend their weekend with their friends
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definitely has more powerful and long-lasting friendships than someone who does not. In conclusion, there are various reasons why the younger segment of society likes to stay at their homes at the weekends rather than going outside, and phone addiction is the primary reason. In my opinion,
this
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has a strong negative impact on
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generation, and we should encourage them to reduce their indoor time.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why it happens and say it is negative, but you can add one more clear reason and one more result.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points are a bit general. Try to explain them more deeply.
task response
Your examples are relevant, but they are quite broad. Add a more specific real-life example.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This is good.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but you can make the flow smoother between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with a fuller explanation so the paragraph feels stronger.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start and stays clear.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • young adults
  • stay indoors
  • spend weekends at home
  • busy week
  • feel tired
  • rest and relax
  • save money
  • high cost of living
  • online entertainment
  • stream films
  • play video games
  • order food
  • work or study pressure
  • feel safe at home
  • avoid crowded places
  • social life
  • real-life contact
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • negative development
  • positive development
  • overall trend
  • in the long run
  • lose social skills
  • become less active
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