IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

As major cities in the world are growing today, so do their problems. What are the problems for young people who are living in the cities as the result of continued growth? What are the solutions for these problems?

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It is argued that nowadays there is a growing of main
cities
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 and their
problems
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 are growing as well. In my opinion, I believe that growing
cities
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 have caused
problems
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 for young adults living in
cities
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 and I will give some solutions for these issues in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, there are several
problems
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 caused for teenagers living in the
cities
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 as the result of continued growth.
Firstly
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, young
people
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 have to face accommodation costs increased when the world's largest
cities
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 are growing.
This
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 will make more young
people
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 become homeless
people
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 because of an increase in accommodation costs.
Secondly
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, there will be a more polluted atmosphere when major
cities
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 are growing,
this
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 will affect the young
people
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’s health a lot.
For example
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, Ho Chi Minh City is a growing city, but using more private transport, makes the air here become very polluted, so young
people
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 who live in Ho Chi Minh City are often affected health. Overall, the growth of many main
cities
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 will
also
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 cause many
problems
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 for young
people
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 living in these
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, I will give some ways to help solve these
problems
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.
To begin
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 with, the government can encourage residents to use more public transport than private transport.
This
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 will help decrease the rate of polluted atmosphere and make the health of young
people
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 become better.
For instance
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, Switzerland is one of the clean nations all over the world because most of the citizens here use environmentally-friendly vehicles
such
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 as buses or bicycles, which makes the polluted atmosphere here decrease.
In addition
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, the government can make more free accommodations for young
people
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,
this
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 will help them reduce accommodation costs. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many
problems
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 that affected a lot of young
people
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 who are living in the
cities
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, I have given some solutions to solve that problem.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cost of living
  • affordability
  • unemployment
  • underemployment
  • competition
  • overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • commute
  • environmental pollution
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • wellbeing
  • social isolation
  • fast-paced
  • impersonal
  • mental health
  • crime rates
  • safety concerns
What to do next:
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