TASK 2: Young people are now spending more and more time and money following fashion trends. What is your opinion? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Many young
people
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today are dedicating increasing amounts of time and money to staying current with
fashion
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trends
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.
This
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shift has both positive and negative consequences, and
while
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there are benefits, I believe the negative aspects outweigh the advantages. On one hand,
fashion
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can serve as an important medium for self-expression. For many young
people
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, following
trends
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allows them to showcase their individuality and boost their confidence. Wearing stylish clothes can
also
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help them feel more connected to their peers, fostering a sense of belonging in social groups.
Furthermore
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, the
fashion
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industry plays a significant role in the global economy, providing jobs for designers, manufacturers, and retailers. In
this
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way, the rising interest in
fashion
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can fuel economic growth and innovation.
On the other hand
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, there are considerable drawbacks to
this
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growing focus on
fashion
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. The pressure to stay on trend often leads young
people
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to overspend, putting unnecessary financial strain on themselves or their families. In some cases,
this
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could lead to debt or long-term financial insecurity.
Additionally
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, the fast
fashion
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industry, which thrives on ever-changing
trends
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, has severe environmental consequences. The production and disposal of cheap, trendy clothing contribute to pollution, resource depletion, and waste, harming the environment at a rapid pace. In conclusion,
while
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fashion
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can allow young
people
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to express themselves and support the economy, the financial strain and environmental damage caused by
this
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obsession with
trends
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cannot be ignored. On balance,
this
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growing focus on
fashion
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is more harmful than beneficial, and young
people
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should be encouraged to adopt more sustainable habits in their consumption of
fashion
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.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, such as specific fashion trends or statistics related to financial strain or environmental impact.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to enhance the flow of your essay. Consider using more linking words or phrases for coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
Ideas are generally comprehensive and address the question directly, providing a complete response.
task achievement
The essay effectively highlights both the positive and negative aspects of the topic, showcasing a balanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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