IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. What is your opinion?

#people #advertisements #products #lives
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First
Linking Words
 and foremost,
marketing
Correct article usage
a marketing
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 tool is the initial step for starting
in
Change preposition
apply
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every business.
Such
Linking Words
 as door-to-door, printing an advertisement in magazines.
Moreover
Linking Words
, live broadcast on Television as well as through many kinds of social networks. In
this
Linking Words
, recent time having a lot of competition in the market, everyone wants to
sale
Replace the word
sell
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 their products.
Therefore
Linking Words
, companies are using different techniques to get the consumer’s attention to
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
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 product. So organizations found the easiest way to advertise their product on
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
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social media. Because people spend their maximum time on it.
Some time
Replace the word
Sometimes
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,
Correct article usage
an individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 in
trap
Add an article
a trap
the trap
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 by the presentation and features
in
Change preposition
of
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 the product
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 he
forced
Add a missing verb
is forced
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 to buy without necessary. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another
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 side it will help in smart buying,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 a person can compare cost-wise & quality-wise. In my opinion, watching an ad will leave
good
Add an article
a good
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 impact on individual knowledge and it helps in awareness of upcoming new products in the market. We have to be aware of trap techniques which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 used by the companies. We cannot tell them to stop that, they are doing well
to
Change preposition
in
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sale
Replace the word
selling
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 their products. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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 be a smart buyer
do
Correct word choice
and do
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 not guilty
of
Change preposition
about
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your-self
Correct your spelling
yourself
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.
For watching
Change preposition
Watching
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 an ad helps me economically.
Submitted by ghani326 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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