IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. What is your opinion?

#people #advertisements #products #lives
First
 and foremost,
marketing
Correct article usage
a marketing
show examples
 tool is the initial step for starting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every business.
Such
 as door-to-door, printing an advertisement in magazines.
Moreover
, live broadcast on Television as well as through many kinds of social networks. In
this
, recent time having a lot of competition in the market, everyone wants to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 their products.
Therefore
, companies are using different techniques to get the consumer’s attention to
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
 product. So organizations found the easiest way to advertise their product on
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
social media. Because people spend their maximum time on it.
Some time
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
,
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 in
trap
Add an article
a trap
the trap
show examples
 by the presentation and features
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the product
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 he
forced
Add a missing verb
is forced
show examples
 to buy without necessary. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side it will help in smart buying,
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 a person can compare cost-wise & quality-wise. In my opinion, watching an ad will leave
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 impact on individual knowledge and it helps in awareness of upcoming new products in the market. We have to be aware of trap techniques which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 used by the companies. We cannot tell them to stop that, they are doing well
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
sale
Replace the word
selling
show examples
 their products. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 be a smart buyer
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
 not guilty
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
your-self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
.
For watching
Change preposition
Watching
show examples
 an ad helps me economically.
Submitted by ghani326 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: