We can learn everything about the past from the drama in films and on television. Therefore, we no longer need to read historical books. To what extent do you agree or disagree about this statement.

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There is a view that learning about past events through drama in movies and on TV is more efficient rather than reading historical
books
Use synonyms
and articles.
While
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some oppose
this
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notion, I strongly believe in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
,
such
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as
this
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method of educating would help students to clearly understand past events. On the one hand, watching drama in films and on television is an optimal way to educate people about ancient times.
Such
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as it gives them an opportunity to visualise action stories.
As a result
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, people can get access to a clear understanding.
Moreover
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, by
this
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method of education, scholars can combine their studies and entertainment.
Therefore
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, learning history by watching
screenplay
Fix the agreement mistake
screenplays
show examples
, that have historical plots and TV shows is an effective way to study.
On the other hand
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, studying with traditional methods
such
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as reading
books
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or articles is more correct. There are more details in
books
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, so we can learn about ancient without skipping any detailed occasions. Because many movie makers and producers usually don't add details to make films more interesting.
For instance
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, cinemas that are made from book stories have many different elements.
Hence
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, if students would like to get information more clearly and in detail, they should read
books
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or extra articles. To summarize what has been stated so far, I strongly agree with
this
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statement that films are better at educating ancient actions rather than
books
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,
such
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as watching cinema gives a facility to combine entertainment and studies.
Although
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in
books
Use synonyms
we can find more detailed information, with movies we can get satisfaction and visualization of past events.

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task achievement
Try to add a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that summarizes your main argument more directly.
coherence
Make sure to clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs with cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your main points, as this will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the subject, which is important in task achievement.
coherence
You have made a good effort to contrast the two perspectives, which is important for coherence and providing a balanced view.
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