IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The consumption of the world’s resources is increasing at a dangerous rate. Where are causes and solutions ?

The usage of the world’s
resources
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 has increased significantly to a dangerous level.
This
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 essay will explain the main causes of the overuse of
resources
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 before providing some solutions. One commonly cited cause of the
resources
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 used nowadays is the growth of the population.
This
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 is because the more
people
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 there are, the more
resources
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 will be needed to fulfil their needs in day-to-day life. Another main cause is the lack of
alternative
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resources
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.
This
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 means that
people
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 merely rely on the main
resources
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 without the willingness to invent other
alternative
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resources
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.
As a result
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, the rate of nonrenewable
resources
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 would be depleted little by little since individuals utilise it greedily in the long run. As an illustration,
while
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 the amount of fuel energy is finite in the world, abundant vehicles operated by citizens call for
this
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 resource to be used. It means that the amount of nonrenewable
resources
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 will be lost in the future. Fortunately, there are some promising solutions to the problems. First of all, the governments should create a regulation to limit the use of the
resources
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. It will no doubt be able to decrease the spending on
resources
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, as every person will be responsible for operating their facilities which require
resources
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such
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 as electricity and water.
Secondly
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, to answer the shortcoming
alternative
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resources
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, the authorities must encourage young
people
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 to pursue their higher education by providing miscellaneous scholarships.
This
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 is because education enables them to have the skills and knowledge to conduct research in order to find other
resources
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. In conclusion, the main causes of the problem are the increasing number of
people
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 and the limitation of
alternative
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resources
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.
However
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, the governments can tackle these by making a regulation and giving a fund for youth to study.

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, explicate your ideas further by elaborating on the causes and solutions. Your response would benefit from a deeper exploration of each point, along with more intricate details and a wider range of examples.
coherence cohesion
To maximize your score for coherence and cohesion, aim to improve the connectivity between ideas. Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to demonstrate clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that paragraphing is managed skillfully throughout your essay to aid readability and flow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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