people nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #work #life #pity #values #materialism

In a concurrent era, some populations are working hard and doing overtime to live a better lifestyle. While others reject

this

notion and believe that in the run of materialistic growth, the public has lost their values of tradition. I will

further

elaborate on both sides of the aforementioned statement in the ensuing paragraphs. It is an undeniable truth that many technologies like: electronic devices made the community's soul easy-going and fast. Like, women could finish their household work faster with the help of a gas stove, fridge, washing machine and so on.

For example

, reporters analyse the data that 52.4% of women have more time than in the past for the household work.

On the other hand

, traditional values teach a lot of things about activity and practical things and show concern towards society. Due to the increased usage of mobile phones or gadgets children are forgetting the value of going to the temple regularly with their grandparents.

However

, from ,prayers one's could know the importance of god or superiority and it

also

teaches the quality of behaving.

In addition

, there are many traditions like touching the feet, and folding the hand in front of the elderly families are getting vanished, and

this

represents how to respect the public who are older than you.

For instance

, almost 69.7% of countries already lost their many traditions which are in favour and helpful from generation to generation due to the technological era.

Furthermore

, the most significant reason behind the losing tradition is parents. After having more gadgets and working activities parents are not giving time to their children and teach the rituals. They are busy chasing high-class and luxurious lifestyles over their religion and children. To conclude, a materialistic lifestyle leads to stressful activities where traditional values develop patience, yoga, and meditation in one's heart.

Submitted by dhruvp1166 on Sat Jun 25 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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people nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Students may have some problems with health such as eye strain and sleep issues because of the time mostly spent on laptop or computer. And maybe students become more adictted with social media if they use it at school and at home.

Some people believe that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. Others argue that advertisements have a positive impact on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.