Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can'f afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #f #behavior #action

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

this

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generation have a tendency to spend money extravagantly without

reconsideration

Add an article

a reconsideration

show examples

of the necessity and their own incentives.In the following paragraphs,causes and some sensible solutions will be discussed in detail.

To begin

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with,From my perspective,the reasons behind

this

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behaviour are the urge to release dopamine and social cultures.Every time

people

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have the capability to achieve something

such

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as new houses, new cars and new items,dopamine begins to release causing

people

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to feel satisfied.

However

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, they do not realise that

this

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thing is not sustainable yet addictive,they will want to gain more of

this

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so they never reach the point where there is enough.Another reason is

people

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’s behaviour is based on their social norms.

For instance

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,citizens in Asia tend to purchase more luxury items and high-end brands compared to those in Europe. To tackle

this

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problem,

people

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in each sector need to participate.

Firstly

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,Influencers and idols should realise that by being presenters of lavish products,they are part of creating

this

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materialistic world and encouraging teenagers to purchase those items.

Thus

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,they should choose each brand carefully.

Secondly

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,students in school have to be educated about financial management and investment.They need to have a strong basic knowledge that as long as they have a good statement,the other money could be spent extravagantly in the way they want.

Finally

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,every person in society should create a culture that values intrinsic, not superficial.Individuals should stop comparing themselves to others and know their worth

instead

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of purchasing things in order to upgrade their social status. In conclusion,incautious spending is caused by cultures in a superficial materialistic world comparing themselves to others.In order to prevent it,

people

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should raise awareness about intrinsic values and have strong knowledge about financial planning.

Submitted by chawanat.pla on Thu Oct 31 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide examples or evidence to further clarify your points, particularly when discussing the role of influencers and financial education. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of grammar and punctuation, as there are a few errors such as missing spaces after commas. While these don't greatly impact the overall understanding, cleaning them up will make your essay more polished.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a strong framework for your argument.

complete response

The essay addresses the prompt directly, discussing causes and solutions for extravagant spending behavior, achieving a comprehensive response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Consumer culture
Conform
Societal influence
Financial literacy
Budgeting
Interest rates
Credit management
Impulsive purchases
Marketing strategies
Aggressive marketing
Emotional spending
Cope with stress
Availability of credit
Buy-now-pay-later schemes
Cycle of spending

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Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can'f afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. Is this a positive or negative development?

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about the news. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some think that it is better to get information or advice from other people, while others believe one can get any information or advice from the Internet or books. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.