Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As compared to past generations, children now are physically inactive in their leisure time.
While
I agree that sporting events are vital in a child’s all-around educational development, I would argue that
such
schemes should be optional
instead
of mandatory. To start with the benefits of physical activities, one can get a healthy body and mind. Take the case of a schoolboy who participates in one sport in the schoolhouse can get rid of the potential risks of diseases
such
as diabetes, obesity or more dangerously heart attack. By
this
, I mean that a child can build physical strength and stamina by relieving stress and putting down the burdens of studying in the classroom context. I
also
remember taking part in physical education every other day in an educational institution was really pleasurable and helped me to concentrate in the classroom context.
Whereas
sporting hours are vital for school-age children, I do not believe that
such
educational programs must be mandatory. Making these programs compulsory in schools may result in unfair decisions and bad behaviours could emerge in a group of pupils who have no interest. The reason behind
that is
not every child is physically appropriate to carry on sport. Only suitable and willing students can take part
by having
Verb problem
in
show examples
the optional stream of playful activities. In conclusion, physical exercises might offer a range of benefits to children including all-embracing educational progress, I do have a firm belief that
such
activities should elective part of the curriculum
instead
of obligatory.
Submitted by gurmeetkaursandhu94 on

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task response
The response demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents a clear position. However, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, but some ideas could be linked more cohesively within paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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