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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

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the rate of offence is emerging rapidly
severe
Correct word choice
apply
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in numerous nations and countries.
Although
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 criminals threaten myriad societies and species, their devastating consequences can be combated triumphantly.
This
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 discourse appraises some of the troubles caused by high crime rates on the entire planet and nominates some viable remedies to curb the grave concerns.
To begin
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 with, it causes an abundance of tangles. The first and foremost is the lack of education and violent media and movies which leads to
such
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 behaviour. The chattels are extremely obvious and cannot be snubbed in a short span of time which stimulates perilous sequels for future genesis.
For Instance
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, in a recent report, it emerged that owing to aggressive content the youth imitate across the globe. the second raise of vexation is the high level of poverty and inflation which are prime contributing factors.
However
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, the menace of resolutions can be fought. Cultivation and awareness
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the prime key to confronting the challenges. The population needs to be cognizant of the adversity.
Therefore
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, they can
evade
Verb problem
avoid
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 doing it.
Moreover
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, the global state should take rigorous action by enforcing robust strategies and plans to confront the trouble instantly and general folk inevitably bestow their pertinent chunks. To cite an example, Research findings reveal that numerous prisoners and criminals after cultivation in the prison period become good citizens. In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 nutshell,crime is an acute issue because it induces hazardous impacts on flora and fauna, people’s health, and lifestyle, and the entire planet. The superior avenue to address it is the anterior solvents. Even though the challenge is improbable to be entirely eradicated in a short span of time there should be concrete measures to mitigate the detrimental effects it is having on the entire community.

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task response
Ensure the response fully addresses all parts of the task, provides a clear position throughout, and supports any claims with relevant examples and details.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a basic overview of the topic; however, the development of ideas within paragraphs lacks clarity and coherence.
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