IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted to do. To what extent do you agree or not?

#society #rules #laws #function #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the importance of the regulations to the community. Some
people
Use synonyms
 hold a strong view that if
people
Use synonyms
 are allowed to do whatever they want,
society
Use synonyms
 could not work. From my perspective, I consider myself an advocate of
this
Linking Words
 statement. Without a shadow of a doubt, discipline plays a paramount significant role in regulating individuals’
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Enforcing
laws
Use synonyms
 means that place restrictions on
people
Use synonyms
's actions, thereby helping
society
Use synonyms
 develop in a more constructive and peaceful way.
For example
Linking Words
, the use and trade of narcotics are prohibited under Vietnamese law because they are addictive and can lead to unpredictable
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, including harm to others. So
laws
Use synonyms
 are made so that everyone can obey and behave properly
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 if there is no rule,
society
Use synonyms
 will suffer from the detrimental impact. When there are no
laws
Use synonyms
 in the world, that means when
people
Use synonyms
 are free to do whatever they desire,
society
Use synonyms
 is being disorderly, unable to function and develop according to the will of the government. If there is no regulation prohibiting the use of firearms in Vietnam, criminals may consider utilizing firearms to carry out their crimes,
such
Linking Words
 as shooting at police and civilians, which would have a significant negative impact on the community.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there should be
laws
Use synonyms
 everywhere in order to avoid
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 outcomes. In conclusion, the law brings great benefits to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: