Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#emphasis #education #students #government #money #time #activities #people

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People believed that education has a crucial role in day-to-day

activities

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, making education matter a great concern for the

government

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. Regarding

this

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, education for students receives too much attention, and

instead

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, the

government

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should allocate more money to free time

activities

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for youths. I firmly agree with

this

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notion, since

this

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proposition allows younger generations to discover their areas of interest

while

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at the same time

this

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is good for their mental health development. First and foremost, free time

activities

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allowed students’ interests to be discovered, enabling the development of students’ character and growth outside the academic hall. To illustrate,

activities

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such

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as extracurricular

activities

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allow students to balance both academic and non-academic pursuits, which prepares them to face future challenges.

Additionally

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, the chance to build wilder connections will be increased as pupils participate in various

activities

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, allowing them to meet new people.

On the other hand

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, engaging in free

activities

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outside school enhances mental health, as these

activities

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provide learners with relaxation

that is

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beneficial to reduce stress levels.

For instance

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, through hobbies that involve physical strength

such

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as basketball, football, and running, endorphins are released.

That is

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likely to boost students’ happiness.

Therefore

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, it is

also

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highly advantageous to managing stress levels,

this

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means improving

overall

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well-being and preventing burnout. In conclusion, the

government

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can emphasise reallocating

government

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money to leisure

activities

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because it cannot be denied that unwinding

activities

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are the best choice to enable young people to discover their passions and promote their mental health development.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Wed Nov 13 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure a clear and focused thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader clearly about your stance.

Task Response

Provide more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay contains a well-defined introduction and conclusion, helping the reader to follow the progression of ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The arguments are logically organized and each paragraph connects well with the next, showing a good flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

The essay does a good job of addressing the main points of the argument, particularly focusing on character development and mental health benefits.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Most people do not care about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that people should be required to retire from their careers at a certain age. Others believe that people should be allowed to work as long as they like. Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.