A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well managed. Whta are the advantages and disadvantages?

Government
actions like investing in public
transport
systems and reducing public
transport
ticket prices will help to reduce
transport
pollution very well. I completely agree with
this
statement. Improved public
transport
with cheaper prices will stop
people
from using private
transport
, and the
transport
population will decrease significantly.
First,
public
transport
is one of the most important things in a country, and the
government
should invest more. The
government
should start cleaning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
more often; there are a lot of
people
who catch a disease from
buses
and trains.
People
who use their own cars rather than public
transport
's biggest reason is
this
hygiene problem.
For example
, in Italy, most of the bus windows are locked because of the danger issues, and
buses
smell so bad.
Second,
the highest amount of
people
prevent public
transport
because of the seats. The number of seats in public
transport
is not enough, and they are not comfortable, which causes a real problem for
people
with back pain. The personal and comfortable space
people
have in their personal cars outweighs the
buses
.
For instance
, trains in Turkey
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not enough seats. Exhausted young workers and older
people
argue about
this
seat problem the most.
This
is one of the strongest reasons that force young
people
to use private
transport
. In conclusion, the
government
should start investing more in public
transport
. The hygiene and space problems should be solved to increase the number of
people
that use public
transport
. They can start
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
cleaning the
buses
more often and
reorganise
Wrong verb form
reorganising
show examples
the hygiene rules.
Submitted by enver07600 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a clear thesis statement in the introduction to help structure your essay. This will improve the logical flow and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph covers a single main idea and is clearly linked to the overall argument. More distinct points will improve logical structure and coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed explanations and a variety of examples to comprehensively support your main points. The more specific and diverse your examples, the stronger your task achievement will be.
task achievement
Address potential counterarguments. Acknowledging alternative viewpoints and addressing them will demonstrate critical thinking and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points. This helps in providing a strong finish to your argument.
task achievement
The examples you provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively. These specific examples make your essay more compelling.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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