Some people believe that schools need to focus on math and science rather than art and history. Others believe art and history are more beneficial for students. Discuss both opinions and state yours.

Education has always been a significant part of each society. According to some people, the exact sciences
such
math
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as math
show examples
and technology should be the major
subjects
at a school while others attend to
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
and creative
subjects
as the main parts of the education.
This
essay discusses both ideas from professional, economical and
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psychological
psyhological
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psychological
perspectives.
First
of all,
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on the exact
subjects
can help
to
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apply
show examples
students
improve their hard
skills
such
as technical or analytical.
For example
, the
students
, who are able to apply
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
skills
in their future job, will have better career chances and salaries compared with others applicants without these
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competencies
show examples
competences
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competencies
show examples
.
For instance
, in
Russia
Add a comma
,Russia
show examples
the
students
have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great opportunities to join an IT company and get a good income in a short time.
On the other hand
, some people consider that studying history and art
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
the student’s creativity. The
students
, who take a part in history classes, improve their soft
skills
such
as communication and problems solving
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can be beneficial for their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
as well. At the same time, studying art plays a key role in improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
students
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students'
student's
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
and creativity.
This
also
makes a
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psychological
psyhological
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psychological
effect.
For example
, the
students
feel relaxed and can discover their hidden
tallents
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talents
while
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they
show examples
the
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they
show examples
are taking art classes. In
conslusion
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conclusion
, I support the opinion that
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
subjects
sciense
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science
and
creative
Replace the word
creativity
show examples
are important parts of
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
life. The
students
not always can decide
themselves
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apply
show examples
about their future and choose
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right way. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
diversity
Correct article usage
the diversity
show examples
of
subjects
can help to improve the
skills
and discover their talents in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different ways and spheres.
Submitted by anastas0304 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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