IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#governments #progress #people #country
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Authorities believe that economic growth is
crucial
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a crucial
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 aspect of development in every country.
Linking Words
However
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,However
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 in
others
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others'
other's
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opinion
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opinions
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 including
Correct pronoun usage
mine
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me
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,me
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 public
health
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 and
education
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 are other important areas that demonstrate how any
society
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 is wealthy and progressed in the
long-term
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long term
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. There is growing evidence that public
health
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 and
education
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 have
crucial
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a crucial
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 role in our
society
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. In terms of
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health
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the health
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 care system, it is inevitable every country with
healthier
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a healthier
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member
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members
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 can progress
with
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at
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 lighting fast pace. High life expectancy
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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happier
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a happier
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society
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thus
Linking Words
, mental disorders
such
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 as depression decreased significantly as result, successful
society
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come
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comes
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 after
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
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 one. Invest in
education
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 and the new generation is investing in the future. With practical training related to the needs of
society
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, progress is achieved in all sectors of
society
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, including the
economy
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.
For
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example
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,example
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 Germany put huge money recourse on
education
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 with modern curriculums and now is one of the prominent
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economy
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economic
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centers
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centres
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 in the world. On the other side, many municipals believe that
economy
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 is a critical core of every
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society
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society's
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 proration and the power of a nation is greatly dependent on its economic development. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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also
Linking Words
, it is true economic growth is one of the most important
part
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parts
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 of success, but other social factors including
education
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 could affect every country the most. If governments allocate enough budgets
on
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to
show examples
Use synonyms
education
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the education
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 they will invest
on
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in
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skilled
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a skilled
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 workforce,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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Add an article
a result
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result
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,result
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 more development in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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 can happen. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 is
undeniable
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an undeniable
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 aspect of every nation’s progress, various other factors directly affect the
economy
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such
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 as public
health
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 and practical
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
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. These are essential for
Linking Words
Add a hyphen
next-generation
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next
Correct article usage
the next
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generation
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generation's
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 well-being.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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