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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

#people #diet #exercises #reason #lifestyle
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Introduction In
this
 present world, there has been
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
 the number of people with
harmul
Correct your spelling
harmful
 eating habits and the numbers of hours that they are active in
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
 aspect,
However
, It has been known many factors
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in
this
 process,
such
 as choosing poor nutritional foods for each meal ,in
also
 ,the sedentary job has been increasing in
this
 period of
time
. The pattern of choosing healthy meals and doing physical
activity
 is the active area to explore to
finding
Change the form of the verb
find
show examples
 the causes .So,I am going to consider some examples to clarify their reasons . Unhealthy diet
First
, the pace of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 important factor to limit human options to providing a healthy meal in 24 hours,so ,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 would prefer to have
save
Change the verb form
saved
show examples
 their
time
 for progressing in their career
instead
 of wasting
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 cooking ,so, it is clear their decision has influenced by the
restuarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 that fast foods
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the high popularity among their
diches
Correct your spelling
dishes
ditches
.As result , because of the speedy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living each day ,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 have not enough
time
 to put the concentration on
type
Correct article usage
the type
show examples
 of their foods. Exercising needs to coordinate the
invironment
Correct your spelling
environment
 to push up
evarybody
Correct your spelling
everybody
 to doing a high level of
activity
 ,It has been understood the majority of
carees
Correct your spelling
careers
 are sedentary
type
 in long hours ,so , the most part of the day has been invested to doing these tasks ,even, if anybody to have a walking
time
 toward own home , It must use
metro
Add an article
the metro
show examples
 or
other
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
type
 of transportation
instead
 of cycling . To sum up ,
Healthier
Correct article usage
a Healthier
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 which has including
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy diet and the proper level of the physical
activity
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been created by the pace of living
Correct your spelling
today
todays
Correct your spelling
today
 and the
type
 of career
Correct your spelling
that
tthat
Correct your spelling
that
 is more sedentary .Having the healthy
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 has been constructed by the pattern of eating a
Correct your spelling
sufficient
insufficient
fufficient
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 nutritional food and the level of
activity
 that
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
are diminished
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by the speedy life and the
type
 of jobs , so , correcting
this
 situation needs to coordinate the several sectors of society from home to work office ,in
aadition
Correct your spelling
addition
 the government must more pay off to providing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
healthy
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 and
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
restuarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 .
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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