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Band 7.5

Most people could not go to work in quarantine period and stayed at home due to the Covid-19 pandemic. What problems lockdown may arise, and how can these problems be tackled.

#people #work #period #home #covid-19 #pandemic #lockdown
The majority of individuals had a mobilization problem during the lockdown duration, as they could not commute to work and had to stay at their houses all day
due to
 the COVID-19 global outbreak.
Overall
, the top three challenges that arose during the quarantine period were mental health, economic, and education sectors.
This
 essay will explain the problems and possible solutions to solve them.
To begin
 with, the Covid-19 pandemic affected almost all areas of our lives globally. The most impacted is regarding mental health issues. Since people cannot go out and socialize with their friends and relatives, they get anxious and stressed and end up feeling lonelier than before. The remedy for
this
 is to provide access to mental health resources and virtual therapy and promote online support groups.
Furthermore
, millions of people lost their jobs globally,
according to
 estimates from the International Labour Organization (ILO) and other sources from 2020 until 2022. These numbers show how severe the economic impact of the pandemic is; purchasing power becomes lower, eventually slowing down the monetary turnaround. The possible solution is to implement government relief programs directly for most needy families and support funding for small-scale businesses.
In addition
, the education sector faces a disruptive obstacle regarding limited technology access.
Therefore
, online learning platforms need to be developed, and devices need to be provided to remote area communities to tackle
this
 problem. In conclusion, as mentioned in the details above, the three most significant difficulties that occurred regarding the pandemic are the emotional well-being, the financial, and the education sectors, which could be solved with solutions supported most by the Government.
Submitted by cipi.magdalena on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea for clarity and focus. This will help to better organize the essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific government relief measures or virtual mental health initiatives that were effective during the pandemic.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively lays out the problems and signals that solutions will be discussed, which sets a clear direction for the essay.
complete response
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, covering mental health, economic impact, and education—demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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