Some people believe that is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #work

Some

people

are concerned about whether elderly

people

should be empowered to continue their careers if

this

is still feasible for them.

Although

I have admitted that there are some limitations to

this

statement, I strongly believe

this

point has more significant affluence than drawbacks.

To begin

with, it can be understood that some individuals do not support that older

people

should continue their favourite

jobs

. First of all,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older citizens easily suffer from different

health

problems

such

as high blood pressure, stroke or heart attack.

As a result

, heavy workloads might affect both their mental and physical

health

Therefore

, old

people

should retire to enjoy the rest of their time beside their relatives.

Additionally

, older

people

joining in market labour is the main reason behind the rising young unemployment.

For instance

, numerous older candidates compete with young ones for their

jobs

because old individuals have more practical experience than these young employees.

As a result

, a huge number of young candidates have to quit their

jobs

However

besides

the mentioned drawbacks above, I

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

suppose that the older staff can bring a lot of benefits to their society. On the one hand, the ones who spend time joining public services or

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

some volunteer activities which support retirement, reduce the government's budget in some fields

such

health

care and environmental protection.

Additionally

, when working satisfaction with these

jobs

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older

people

can avoid feelings of isolation and loneliness, which is beneficial for their mental

health

On the other hand

, a huge number of old unemployed puts a heavy burden on the

health

system or social care since they need more state investment for these issues.

Therefore

, if older

people

have chances to earn money, the government’s responsibilities will

reduce

Wrong verb form

be reduced

show examples

to focus on other important concerns. In conclusion, I believe the previous generation should be cared for by both their family and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

However

, there is no right to limit our grandparents from enjoying their own life

as well as

their favourite

jobs

Submitted by tunghan29 on Tue Jun 28 2022

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task response

Expand on the drawbacks of allowing older people to continue working, such as potential impact on younger generations and societal balance.

task response

Consider providing a more balanced discussion by acknowledging potential drawbacks in the counterargument section.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph is linked cohesively to the main topic and previous paragraphs for smoother flow of ideas.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The process of producing drinking water by solar power powdered pump and filter.

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people say that experiences a child has before starting schools have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experience as teenagers, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?