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In the 21st century, the innovation of social media helps people connect with different people from all over the world,but it tends to have a negative impact on them by making them less conversant in real-life situations.

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In the 21st century, the innovation of social media helps
people
 connect with different
people
 from all over the world,but it tends to have a negative impact on them by making them less conversant in real-life situations.
While
 having a real
conversation
,
people
 used to talk not only with words but
also
 with facial
expression
Fix the agreement mistake
expressions
show examples
, vocal tones, body language, and so on. These kinds of expressions make a one-on-one
conversation
 more interactive and fun.
However
, in online communication,
people
 only have words to express their thoughts, which
aren’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
isn’t
show examples
 enough in most scenarios. A real
conversation
also
 helps to understand and bond with the other person, because we know those words mean a lot more than what they say. There are a few
people
 who think they are introverts just because they haven’t tried talking with each other and assume that they have
such
 low social stamina, which isn’t the case in most situations.
Contradictingly
Correct your spelling
Contradicting
, online
conversation
 helps
people
 connect with multiple or unknown individuals from all over the world, which gives a good amount of exposure and lets us gain a vast amount of information from others as well, but still, it totally depends on how we use it. In short, social media is a “double-edged sword.” It often refers to a remedy to overcome social fear in some states. In conclusion, from my point of view when a person spends more time on social media, he will eventually forget who to communicate with in person and will no longer feel the urgency of reaching out to new
people
.
Submitted by ieltsielts81 on

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Task Achievement
Continue to develop your argument with clear, relevant examples. Your essay benefits from the use of specific scenarios which could illustrate the impact of social media on real-life conversations even more vividly.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance the structure of your essay, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly, thereby increasing the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
General
In the conclusion, try to offer a brief summary of the key points made in the essay as well as a final opinion, to make it more impactful.
Task Achievement
You've effectively outlined both positive and negative aspects of social media on conversations, which shows a balanced and well-considered approach.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction sets up the topic well, providing a clear overview of the essay's direction.
Coherence & Cohesion
You maintained a logical flow throughout your essay, which helps in making your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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