at the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

it is undeniable that overpopulation has been a controversial issue especially when it comes to the population of young
people
and the old
ones
. in
this
essay advantages and disadvantages will be illustrated and provide a logical conclusion. the primary reason to take into account is
youth
people
are more energetic and can easily cope with the hard situation due to their physical circumstances and
also
, the young
ones
possess active minds rather than elderlies ,
therefore
they comfortably solve the problem and make novelty in so many projects.
for example
'marry curie' a well-known scientist wrote about herself that " in the
second
decade of my life I was more enthusiastic about science and discovering new materials.
moreover
, she has mentioned during the experiments she worked until late at night in the laboratory,but ,
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
show examples
she got a deadly disorder in her middle age and could not continue her thesis.
although
, having the old in society has its own benefits. to be more specific, elderlies are experienced
people
that faced numerous difficulties and know how
youth
people
will survive
within
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. as well as,young minds need a good leader who can conduct them in a productive way and organise every little aspect of their work that might lead to
youth
people
can reach their goals as quickly as they tend. an example will clarify
this
point. one of the policies that correlate with a successful business,LG company, is managers of the company should be more experienced than employees and supervise them
also
, elderlies can play a mediator role among recruiters whenever they have conflicts with each other. so the old
ones
are able to create a good atmosphere in the workplace. in conclusion,
although
youth
people
can make mistakes and need a leader to help them,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have an extremely positive impact on a country's economy and provide a large number of opportunities for improvement of their own country.
On the other hand
, without ,
elderies
Correct your spelling
elderlies
young
ones
do not have tutors to teach them. in my opinion, it does not matter that the young are more than the old
ones
, but they need elderly experience.
Submitted by farnaz_yousefian on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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