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Writing Samples
Band 7

The NRA believe more guns make the country safer. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#nra #guns #country
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It is often argued that more
weapons
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 make the
country
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 safer. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement and think that
guns
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 make the
country
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 more dangerous.
First
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 of all, I reckon that the impact of
guns
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 is huge, school shootings and terror acts happen in the countries
such
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 as
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 very often because the
weapons
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 can be purchased by 18 years old individuals.
This
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 could be prevented by the government,
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nonetheless
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,nonetheless
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 constitution of the US allows people to buy
weapons
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.
Moreover
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,
guns
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 and knives are available almost in every town in the United States of America.
For instance
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, the situation in a recent primary school shooting that has happened in Texas, 20 people have been killed by
18-year-old
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an 18-year-old
the 18-year-old
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 with mental and psychopathic problems,
hence
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 18 children under the age of 14 were killed. That’s why it is very dangerous and silly to think that
guns
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 make the
country
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 safer.
Secondly
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, an excess of
weapons
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 may provide opportunities for felons and criminals to buy
a big and cheap amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a big and cheap amount
big and cheap amounts
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 of
arsenal
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the arsenal
an arsenal
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.
In other words
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, they will be armoured like police or army which may cause big trouble and consequences for society.
Subsequently
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, the
country
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 by trying to save itself, make an opportunity to destroy itself.
For example
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, the situation that happened in January in Kazakhstan demonstrated that felons and terrorists can cause big trouble to the government by stealing
guns
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 from gunshops and weapon markets.
Thus
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, even if governments around the world will produce
weapons
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, they need to be in the usage of the regular army or police not in people’s use. To sum up, I strongly believe that more
guns
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 make the
country
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 not a safe place,
in
Linking Words
contrast
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,contrast
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 it provides with
weapons
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 felons and terrorists and because of
this
Linking Words
 school shootings and terrors happen in the world.
Submitted by cit2005 on

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