In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second hand clothing amongst the younger generation.1. Why is this happening? 2. Do you think its a positive or negative development?
In recent times, there has been an increasing rise in the popularity of used garments among young
people
. This
happens because of the ongoing price rate of clothing around the world. I personally believe that it is a positive development because it encourages the reuse of clothing.
People
, especially the young generation are interested in buying used garments because the price of new clothing has increased a lot compared to the past. This
happens because the production costs of garment industries have risen due to
the increasing rate of raw materials. The young generation who live independently separate from their parents, cannot afford brand new clothing. Therefore
, they prefer purchasing second-hand clothing to save their money. For instance
, young people
in India, at the age of 16 to 20, buy second-hand clothing because they have to manage a lot of other expenses.
This
is a positive development because it promotes the reuse of every clothing item and assures environmental safety. The production of clothing causes a significant amount
of environmental pollution because of the utilization of fossil fuels in garment industries. If young people
are interested in buying used clothes, a smaller amount
of clothing will be produced compared to the past, and a smaller amount
of pollution will have happened to the environment. For instance
, in Canada, according to
a survey, when people
started utilizing second-hand garments, the air and water pollution rates significantly decreased.
To conclude
, young people
want to save their money by purchasing second-hand clothing. Using second-hand clothing saves the environment because production will be decreased and less amount
of fossil fuels will be utilized.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
Ensure a more robust thesis statement that covers both questions in the essay prompt. While you did answer both questions, your thesis could be clearer by stating that you will discuss why this rise in popularity is happening, as well as why it is a positive development.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more transition words and phrases to link paragraphs and ideas. For example, beginning the second paragraph with 'One of the main reasons...' would establish a clearer connection between ideas.
task achievement
Minor grammatical errors are present, such as 'the ongoing price rate of clothing around the world' instead of simply 'the rising cost of clothing globally.' Proofread to eliminate these small errors for a higher score.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples such as the reference to young people in India and the survey from Canada adds credibility and relevance to your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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