Some people believe that maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential for a happy life. Others think focusing on career success is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People hold differing views on what constitutes a fulfilling

life

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While

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some argue that maintaining a healthy

work

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life

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balance is essential for happiness, others believe that prioritizing

career

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success

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is more important.

This

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essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. Achieving a balance between

work

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and personal

life

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is crucial for maintaining both mental and physical well-being.

Firstly

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, adequate rest after long working hours can significantly reduce stress and anxiety, lowering the risk of cardiovascular diseases.

Furthermore

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, spending quality time with family and friends strengthens personal relationships, creating a supportive social network that enhances

overall

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happiness. Engaging in leisure activities

also

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allows individuals to recharge, improving their energy levels and creativity upon returning to

work

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. Employees who maintain a balanced

life

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are more likely to stay motivated, maintain high morale, and experience lower absenteeism, all of which contribute to better

work

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performance.

On the other hand

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, many individuals believe that focusing on

career

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success

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is essential for a prosperous

life

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. One significant advantage is the potential for financial stability. People who prioritize their careers may earn higher incomes, providing them with greater financial security.

Moreover

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career

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progression often involves networking, which can lead to valuable professional connections that benefit both

work

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and personal

life

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Lastly

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, achieving

career

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milestones boosts confidence, empowering individuals to take on greater challenges and responsibilities. For many,

career

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success

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is a key driver of personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. In conclusion,

while

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a healthy

work

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life

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balance is essential for

overall

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well-being,

career

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success

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can provide financial stability and personal growth.

However

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, I believe that personal well-being should take precedence, as it forms the foundation for a fulfilling

career

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and

life

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in general.

lethithut123Thu Feb 06 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both perspectives with a brief explanation of each view to improve clarity.

Task Achievement

Incorporate additional specific examples to illustrate points made in paragraphs, as this will strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable to readers.

Coherence and Cohesion

Aim to enhance the conclusion with a stronger reiteration of your opinion, emphasizing the importance of personal well-being more robustly.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear understanding of different perspectives regarding work-life balance and career success.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay, with clear separate paragraphs focused on distinct points, is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some people believe that maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential for a happy life. Others think focusing on career success is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Successful sports professinals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Cheaper food is now available because of greater use of fertilizers and improved machinery. This improved production, however, can be harmful to individuals and the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Discuss, including examples from your