Nowadays on-line shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent decades, by developing online shopping patterns, folk have been shopping online more and more.
Also
, the population tends to purchase goods without going outside. In this
essay, both sides whether the improvement of online shopping are advantages or disadvantages.
First,
when the citizens want to buy the
products Correct article usage
apply
such
as clothes, books, and even food, they tend to order on the website. Actually, in fact, it is more time-saving than in-store shopping. For instance
, the inhabitants in Hong Kong, once the people get a job, they need to work for at least 10 hours long, and after finishing their work, they are exhausted. As a result
, the consumers only need to click the button on the browser and purchase whatever they want at any time. Thus
, it is efficient and convenient as well.
On the other hand
, the advancement of online shopping significantly eliminated face-to-face communication opportunities. For example
, the public can get whatever they want by only clicking the button on the web pages. In the
other words, it can lead to an unsociable personality. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, some inhabitants do not know their neighbours, and if that, they cannot get help from the
others, because they already lost Correct article usage
apply
the
connection.
In conclusion, the benefits of the online shopping revolution outweigh the disadvantages. Change the word
their
However
, the
consumers are still required to pay attention to the fraud issue, choosing reliable online platforms. Correct article usage
apply
Nevertheless
, the government should monitor properly, and provide a safe and trustable online shopping environment for the consumersSubmitted by fungtinwaier on
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task response
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of online shopping. However, the points made could be more clearly supported with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure and coherence of the essay could be improved by organizing the ideas more clearly. Use of transitional phrases and logical progression of ideas would enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and relevant terminology. However, for a higher score, aim for more precise and varied word choices, particularly in conveying specific details and examples.
grammatical range
The essay shows a reasonable range of grammatical structures and features. To enhance the score, work on using more complex and varied sentence structures and pay attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?