some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. dicuss both these views and give your own opinion.

"You are the only one who can determine your destiny" is the quote that I always apply in my daily
life
. Even though some
people
reckon that worse circumstances
such
as deficiency of money and doing drudgery are the
fate
, which we have to commit, others and I believe that we can better our
life
by ourselves and can decide what will we be. In
this
essay, both statements will be elaborated on before my perspective to support the latter views is presented. On the one hand, some
people
who are disappointed in their
life
is likely to believe that the bad situation occurs because of the
fate
, which may be partially true because some tragedy beyond our control
such
as being born into a poor family
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and being disability can happen with someone
life
.
For instance
, the children who were born in impoverished families do not have the opportunity to study in prestigious schools and universities.
Consequently
, they have less chance to get a well-paid job in the future compared to kids in rich families.
Therefore
, some conditions can be the inevitable obstacles against
people
to become successful.
On the other hand
, many
people
who are optimistic and hard-working are confident in their abilities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and do not let destiny decide their
life
. The troubles including unpleasant jobs and bad livelihood can be mitigated by hard work and discipline.
For example
, Mr Chatchard was born in slam
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and has very poor parents, but he did not give up on their
fate
. He studied hard and graduated PhD from a prestigious university by getting a scholarship and doing a part-time job.
Finally
, he became a professor and his well-being get improved a lot.
However
, if he accepted a bad situation, he would become an ordinary worker. These examples show that
fate
can be changed by ourselves. In conclusion, there are 2 types of
people
in
this
world, the person who give up and accepted their current situation, and the one who does not give up and scrambles over many constraints to get a better
life
. In my opinion, if we work hard to better our
life
, the hard work will pay off.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: