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Writing Samples
Band 5

Doctor, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrity. Do you agree or disagree

#doctor #nurses #teacher #contribution #society #entertainment #sport #celebrity
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It is often argued that individuals working in the medical and educational
profession
Replace the word
professionals
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 should be given higher wages as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainers and sportspeople. I completely agree that
doctors
Use synonyms
, nurses and
teachers
Use synonyms
 should be paid more as their contribution
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society is indeed remarkable. Medical professionals are the life saviours whereas the
teachers
Use synonyms
 are the best guides who help in providing education for the students. Undoubtedly, both occupations serve the society and the nation in its development and
hence
Linking Words
 should be provided more salaries. One of the best
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
 of their
role play
Add a hyphen
role-play
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 can be seen at the time of the Covid pandemic when many
doctors
Use synonyms
 and nurses sacrificed their
life
Replace the word
lives
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 to save other people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their devotion and dedication towards society
is
Change the verb form
are
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 unmatchable as compared to the actors or sports celebrity.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
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becoming a medical professional or a professor it takes years of hard work.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, their job profile demands day and night duties for serving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an increment in their salaries will definitely give them a
moral
Correct your spelling
morale
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 boost to perform better.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
America
Add a comma
,America
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 the government has raised the annual income of the people according to their work profile and
doctors
Use synonyms
 are paid
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 wages followed by the
teachers
Use synonyms
considering
Wrong verb form
considered
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to be the noblest professions among all.
Hence
Linking Words
, for their selfless
efforts
Add a comma
,efforts
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 they should be given more perks and incentives. To conclude,
doctors
Use synonyms
 and nurses play an important role in serving people
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 treating all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of ailments whereas
teachers
Use synonyms
 make careers of the students. The contribution of both the professions in their respective sector is outstanding. Henceforth, I firmly believe that they should be paid more in comparison to entertainers or
sportsperson
Fix the agreement mistake
sportspeople
show examples
.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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