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Band 7

There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#animals’ #species #world #people #animals #time #beings
It has been universally acknowledged that the number of animal extinctions is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario. One school of thought opine that human beings should protect animals from dying out,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 some other communities argue that people should spend more time on the problem of human beings.
This
 essay will not only shed light on both perceptions yet my point of view will
also
 be elaborated. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for its growth of it. One of the reasons is a number of endangered animals have been suffering from the pollution which has been caused by humanity
such
 as water pollution and air pollution.
Therefore
, environmental conservationism believes that people should protect creatures from being extinct. To cite an example, there are some conservation organisations that are raising awareness to the public about trafficking illegally just only for their insatiable desires.
As a result
, there will be an unbalanced biological circle which can help people to mitigate climate change.
On the other hand
, in order to solve
this
 serious issue, some measures can be taken. Human beings undoubtedly should take the responsibility to solve
this
 severe problem.
Furthermore
, waste disposals and toxic emissions from massive industries are contaminating the rivers and seas. To exemplify, marine animals will accidentally consume plastics as their food.
Consequently
, there will be more creatures extinct in future. To conclude, according to my perspective,
this
 problematic issue has become depressing magnitude.
Therefore
,
this
 is not an easy task to solve. A worldwide effort is crucial in order to curb
this
 grave concern.
Submitted by rosewong0922 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Extinction, Endangered species, Conservation, Habitat, Ecosystem, Biodiversity, Ethical responsibility, Preservation, Ecosystem services, Wildlife protection, Poverty alleviation, Healthcare, Climate action, Resource allocation, Food security, Interconnectedness, Sustainable development
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