These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children, while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In recent years,

as a result

Linking Words

of major changes in our lifestyle, standards of life, and cultural norms , the role of parents has started to switch. As it is evident, the rate of stay-at-

home

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dads is increasing, and mothers are taking responsibility as breadwinners of the family. The underlying reasons for

this

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phenomenon could be the limited

job

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opportunities,

men

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losing their jobs, and

also

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better employment circumstances for some women. I personally believe that it is not beneficial for

men

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to stay at

home

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permanently, and it is best not to switch the parental roles in the family. In the following, I will elaborate on the causes, and explain why I am against

this

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idea. Fathers prefer to stay at

home

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and take care of the

children

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due to

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some logical reasons. One of the most noticeable causes of

this

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situation is the fact that proper

job

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opportunities with sufficient salaries are often limited. The employment market is highly competitive, and

as a result

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, some

men

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fail to find a good occupation. In

this

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situation, if the mother of the family has a better

job

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offer, parents may decide to switch their roles. One other explanation for

this

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occurrence is that, sometimes

men

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lose their jobs and staying at

home

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is imposed on them.

This

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phenomenon is a heated argument these days. There is a controversy about whether

this

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incident is in a family’s best interest or not.

While

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some people, especially feminist activists, argue that

this

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role alteration could be advantageous, I totally believe the opposite. Most

men

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prefer to work out as it gives them a sense of strength and power, and if they are deprived of

this

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feeling, it may result in psychological disorders

such

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as depression.

Also

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, the emotional impacts on the

children

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should not be neglected. Based on scientific facts,

children

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need their mothers at

home

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more since it is the mothers who support their

children

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emotionally, and being separated from each other is not beneficial for both sides. All in all,

while

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it is evident that some

men

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are at

home

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taking care of their offspring because of certain reasons like losing their careers, fewer

job

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opportunities, and better employment situations for women, the consequences are definitely negative in the long term. In my point of view, the traditional form of parenting is more in line with a family’s benefit.

basri.fatemeSat Jul 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score, ensure that each body paragraph is clearly unified around a single main idea. This will strengthen the logical structure.

task achievement

The essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. This will make your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

Try to maintain balance in your discussion by acknowledging the validity of the opposing viewpoint even if you disagree with it. This will show a nuanced understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task fully, discussing both reasons for the phenomenon and whether it is a positive or negative development.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, giving a clear preview and summary of your argument.

task achievement

The ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, contributing to a comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

The use of transition words and phrases helps to connect your ideas smoothly, which is a strong point for coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

398 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children, while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development?