These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children, while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#fathers #home #care #children #mothers #work #development

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In recent years,

as a result

of major changes in our lifestyle, standards of life, and cultural norms , the role of parents has started to switch. As it is evident, the rate of stay-at-

home

dads is increasing, and mothers are taking responsibility as breadwinners of the family. The underlying reasons for

this

phenomenon could be the limited

job

opportunities,

men

losing their jobs, and

also

better employment circumstances for some women. I personally believe that it is not beneficial for

men

to stay at

home

permanently, and it is best not to switch the parental roles in the family. In the following, I will elaborate on the causes, and explain why I am against

this

idea. Fathers prefer to stay at

home

and take care of the

children

due to

some logical reasons. One of the most noticeable causes of

this

situation is the fact that proper

job

opportunities with sufficient salaries are often limited. The employment market is highly competitive, and

as a result

, some

men

fail to find a good occupation. In

this

situation, if the mother of the family has a better

job

offer, parents may decide to switch their roles. One other explanation for

this

occurrence is that, sometimes

men

lose their jobs and staying at

home

is imposed on them.

This

phenomenon is a heated argument these days. There is a controversy about whether

this

incident is in a family’s best interest or not.

While

some people, especially feminist activists, argue that

this

role alteration could be advantageous, I totally believe the opposite. Most

men

prefer to work out as it gives them a sense of strength and power, and if they are deprived of

this

feeling, it may result in psychological disorders

such

as depression.

Also

, the emotional impacts on the

children

should not be neglected. Based on scientific facts,

children

need their mothers at

home

more since it is the mothers who support their

children

emotionally, and being separated from each other is not beneficial for both sides. All in all,

while

it is evident that some

men

are at

home

taking care of their offspring because of certain reasons like losing their careers, fewer

job

opportunities, and better employment situations for women, the consequences are definitely negative in the long term. In my point of view, the traditional form of parenting is more in line with a family’s benefit.

Submitted by basri.fateme on Sat Jul 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score, ensure that each body paragraph is clearly unified around a single main idea. This will strengthen the logical structure.

task achievement

The essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. This will make your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

Try to maintain balance in your discussion by acknowledging the validity of the opposing viewpoint even if you disagree with it. This will show a nuanced understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task fully, discussing both reasons for the phenomenon and whether it is a positive or negative development.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, giving a clear preview and summary of your argument.

task achievement

The ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, contributing to a comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

The use of transition words and phrases helps to connect your ideas smoothly, which is a strong point for coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

398 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children, while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Topic: In many countries around the world rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?