These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children, while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In recent years,
as a result
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of major changes in our lifestyle, standards of life, and cultural norms , the role of parents has started to switch. As it is evident, the rate of stay-at-
home
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dads is increasing, and mothers are taking responsibility as breadwinners of the family. The underlying reasons for
this
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phenomenon could be the limited
job
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opportunities,
men
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losing their jobs, and
also
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better employment circumstances for some women. I personally believe that it is not beneficial for
men
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to stay at
home
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permanently, and it is best not to switch the parental roles in the family. In the following, I will elaborate on the causes, and explain why I am against
this
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idea. Fathers prefer to stay at
home
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and take care of the
children
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due to
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some logical reasons. One of the most noticeable causes of
this
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situation is the fact that proper
job
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opportunities with sufficient salaries are often limited. The employment market is highly competitive, and
as a result
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, some
men
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fail to find a good occupation. In
this
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situation, if the mother of the family has a better
job
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offer, parents may decide to switch their roles. One other explanation for
this
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occurrence is that, sometimes
men
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lose their jobs and staying at
home
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is imposed on them.
This
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phenomenon is a heated argument these days. There is a controversy about whether
this
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incident is in a family’s best interest or not.
While
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some people, especially feminist activists, argue that
this
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role alteration could be advantageous, I totally believe the opposite. Most
men
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prefer to work out as it gives them a sense of strength and power, and if they are deprived of
this
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feeling, it may result in psychological disorders
such
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as depression.
Also
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, the emotional impacts on the
children
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should not be neglected. Based on scientific facts,
children
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need their mothers at
home
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more since it is the mothers who support their
children
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emotionally, and being separated from each other is not beneficial for both sides. All in all,
while
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it is evident that some
men
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are at
home
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taking care of their offspring because of certain reasons like losing their careers, fewer
job
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opportunities, and better employment situations for women, the consequences are definitely negative in the long term. In my point of view, the traditional form of parenting is more in line with a family’s benefit.

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, ensure that each body paragraph is clearly unified around a single main idea. This will strengthen the logical structure.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. This will make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to maintain balance in your discussion by acknowledging the validity of the opposing viewpoint even if you disagree with it. This will show a nuanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task fully, discussing both reasons for the phenomenon and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, giving a clear preview and summary of your argument.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, contributing to a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The use of transition words and phrases helps to connect your ideas smoothly, which is a strong point for coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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