These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children, while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
In recent years,
as a result
of major changes in our lifestyle, standards of life, and cultural norms , the role of parents has started to switch. As it is evident, the rate of stay-at-home
dads is increasing, and mothers are taking responsibility as breadwinners of the family. The underlying reasons for this
phenomenon could be the limited job
opportunities, men
losing their jobs, and also
better employment circumstances for some women. I personally believe that it is not beneficial for men
to stay at home
permanently, and it is best not to switch the parental roles in the family. In the following, I will elaborate on the causes, and explain why I am against this
idea.
Fathers prefer to stay at home
and take care of the children
due to
some logical reasons. One of the most noticeable causes of this
situation is the fact that proper job
opportunities with sufficient salaries are often limited. The employment market is highly competitive, and as a result
, some men
fail to find a good occupation. In this
situation, if the mother of the family has a better job
offer, parents may decide to switch their roles. One other explanation for this
occurrence is that, sometimes men
lose their jobs and staying at home
is imposed on them.
This
phenomenon is a heated argument these days. There is a controversy about whether this
incident is in a family’s best interest or not. While
some people, especially feminist activists, argue that this
role alteration could be advantageous, I totally believe the opposite. Most men
prefer to work out as it gives them a sense of strength and power, and if they are deprived of this
feeling, it may result in psychological disorders such
as depression. Also
, the emotional impacts on the children
should not be neglected. Based on scientific facts, children
need their mothers at home
more since it is the mothers who support their children
emotionally, and being separated from each other is not beneficial for both sides.
All in all, while
it is evident that some men
are at home
taking care of their offspring because of certain reasons like losing their careers, fewer job
opportunities, and better employment situations for women, the consequences are definitely negative in the long term. In my point of view, the traditional form of parenting is more in line with a family’s benefit.Submitted by basri.fateme on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, ensure that each body paragraph is clearly unified around a single main idea. This will strengthen the logical structure.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. This will make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to maintain balance in your discussion by acknowledging the validity of the opposing viewpoint even if you disagree with it. This will show a nuanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task fully, discussing both reasons for the phenomenon and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, giving a clear preview and summary of your argument.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, contributing to a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The use of transition words and phrases helps to connect your ideas smoothly, which is a strong point for coherence and cohesion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example